I Melt.

I thought my heart was going to explode on Monday. I was honestly wondering if I could die of happiness when one of my girls asked if I wanted to go to the Bible Study she leads and hang out with her girlies.

I was something I wanted to do so badly and the entire night I could not shake this all-encompassing joy.

My Hannah, My Kelsey, My Rachel, me and My Lauren tailgating before a football game, 2010. We were all laughing when we took this picture. I want it to stay like this forever.

I could not be more proud of my girls. Each of them. Well, I keep saying that, and then they go and do something amazing and my level of pride shoots up about another one hundred and fifty feet.

My beautiful Lauren. There aren't words.

This week, however, has warmed my soul beyond measure.

My Kelsey, My Hannah, me, My Lauren, and My Rachel before Crusade Semi-Formal, 2009.

I watched my Kelsey challenge her girls to love each other through good times and bad.

My sweet Livia. I miss her every day.

I saw my Lauren hug each of her girls with a love that is so beautiful it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

When my girls love each other, my soul does somersaults. My Lauren and My Emma at the Free Expression Tunnel, Fall 2008.

We miss you daily, Emma.

Then there's my Kaitlyn. She's just going to smile at the world for the rest of her life. And the world will be a better place because of it.

My Kelsey and My Hannah at Shak-a-Thon, Fall 2008.

This is the first night they convinced me to sleep outside. I'm pretty sure the word's "If you love us, you'll do it" were tossed around.

Then there's my Hannah who is exactly who I want to be when I grow up.

And my Drea. The most driven and determined person I know. The phrase "heart of gold" was coined because she came into this world.

My Ashley. She taught me the importance of quality time. She taught me the importance of loving with your whole heart. She embodies sunshine.

I miss you every day my sweet girl.

Same with my Sami, who has this quiet peace and confidence about her that I wish I could bottle up and give out to the world. The Middle East would be better off with it.

My beautiful Sami. I'm pretty sure her smile can cure cancer.

I could go on and on and on. And on and on and on some more.

Christmas Party 2009.

But last night, I was sitting at Crusade with my Lauren down the row and sitting beside my Kelsey surrounded by their girls and I just wanted to freeze time.

One of my grandgirls came up to me and said, "Grandma! I got to share Jesus with someone today!"

I was speechless.

My sweet girls are growing up. They are working with their own girls to make the world a better place. They love harder than I ever could and it amazes me.

As I was sitting there with my Kelsey, she leaned over and rested her head on my shoulder. I sat there praying, "Lord, please let time stand still right now. Please."

I was melting. I only have about 100 days left on this campus and within arms' reach of the majority of my girls. As if my Kelsey curling up with me and one of my grandbabies loving Jesus publicly wasn't enough, my girls then laughed. I heard them. This chorus of angel voices rising in giggles and joy and laughter and I could be content forever in that moment.

I don't know if I could ever have kids of my own because I'm pretty sure I would die at the sheer joy of looking at the child, if these girls are any yardstick.

I melt every time they laugh.

I melt every time I hear one of them pray.

I melt every time I get an "I love you" text from them.

Every time I get to hug them.

Every time I watch them love others.

Every time they gush about an answered prayer.

Every time they talk about their own girls or their own special way that they're saving the world.

Every time they dream big and expect God to show up.

Every time I wrap my arms around them reminds me that I have a purpose. I have a Creator who makes all things good. I am reminded that there is another life after this one where He will wipe away every tear from our eyes and my girls will be whole, without doubts, fears, and the imperfections they see in the mirror (which, I swear, are not there). Each time that I am in their presence, it gives me strength and I am reminded what true love looks like.