i have to get out.

I have to get out of this country.

No, seriously.

America, I love you. I love you deeply, and I am thankful that I live here. I am thankful every day that I was born one of your citizens and I was given your traditons and your Southern drawl. I love your Fourth of July fireworks and your Thanksgiving turkey and your materialistic Christmas, as heathenous as it is for me to say it.
I love your freedom and the fact that big guys with big guns aren't chillin' on every street corner.
I love your diversity and your fake Chinese food and your waiver forms.

But, America, I cannot live with you much longer.

I can't take the hypocritcial Christians and the hollow worship.

I cannot sit here and look at pictures of My Father's children dying around the world. I cannot hear stories of people that do not know Him, that have never been given the chance to know Him and not have my heart break into a thousand tiny pieces.

I don't know how many people read this blog. Truthfully, I don't care. My pride would like to see my numbers grow into the thousands, but in the end this is small and minute and doesn't matter.

But what does matter is malnutrition, and lost people groups, and terrorists that serve a god that doesn't love them and will never answer their prayers.

What matters are the beautiful women that I got the opportunity to love this summer who still do not understand that their life isn't about the here and now.

What matters is that I am only one person. What matters is that I will do nothing with my life. I can work as hard as I physically can every day until Jesus calls me home, but none of it will matter.

Unless I am following what my Father is telling me to do.

The hard part is, I know that my Father is telling me to stay in America. To love His children here.

"But LORD! Don't You know about these beautiful people dying of AIDS? Don't You know about the children who have no mother? Don't You know that I want to love them? HERE I AM LORD, SEND ME!"

"Yes, my daughter, I know. I know all of these things, and more. I know things that you will never know. I will reveal everything to you in due time. Just wait. Just love Me, and wait."

Please, any of you reading this, pray that I wait. Pray that I listen and love where I am at right now. And pray that He calls me quickly elsewhere.