Wednesday, October 9, 2013

90 DoOD: Day 10

Day: Ten

Mood: Irritated and overwhelmed -- I'd be willing to put money on it that the pile of ungraded papers on my desk and my students have more to do with that than online dating.

Online Interaction of the Day: Two guys from the first time I did online dating (this is my second go-'round) have found my profile again and have started emailing me. 

They're sweet enough, but I'm just not feeling it. I'll save Guy #2 for another day, but let's discuss Guy #1.

Guy #1 (Let's call him Danny, shall we?) Danny's profile says he is 36. A bit old for me, but if there's a connection, I truly believe age is just a number. However, after reading his profile, I find this sentence: "The age given on my profile is approximate." Ummm...hold old ARE YOU, dear? I'm a little scared.
Also, apparently Danny has a side business as a photographer. In his second email, he offered this as an idea for our first date: we meet at a park in the area and he takes a few "headshots" for me, for me to use on things like LinkedIn, of course. Hmm.

Unsolicited Advice for the Gents: Girls cannot stand lying. Not even a little bit. We know this is hypocritical because we (as a gender stereotype) drop little white lies about various things, all inconsequential, of course -- our age, natural hair color, just how much we enjoyed our time last night, that kind of thing. But once it's turned on us, NOPE. NOT OKAY. THERE'S THE DOOR. HAVE A NICE DAY. The minute we smell a lie, no matter how small or white or inconsequential, we start assuming there's more. Even if your lie is just your age. Don't lie. Ever. We'll find out and commence World War III.

Since it's Wednesday, I figured you might need a pick-me-up, I'm giving you another piece of advice: girls are hardwired to be suspicious of creepy people. I don't care how well they can shoot a gun or how many classes on self-defense they've taken, we don't want to be in a situation where we are forced to use these skills. Do everything in your power to keep her Creeper Alert Radar from going off. Especially in this day and age, girls have seen one too many episodes of Criminal Minds (yes, Shemar Moore, you can have my number) and we see just how creative creepy people can get. And as much as we want Matthew Gray Gubler (thank You, Jesus, Hallelujah, amen!) to come busting in and save us from the bad guy, we don't want cause for said rescue. Here's where I'm going with this: taking a picture of a girl before you really get to know her obviously means you're a creeper and you're going to use this in some kind of shrine that you've set up in your closet. If she thinks it's a good idea to take a picture on the first date, it should be on her phone. Your phone should be kept in your pocket at all times. A camera has NO place on the first few dates. Just...no.

1 comment: