I ran into one of my favorite people in the entire world today, Kara Forester. She is honestly one of the most encouraging human beings that I know and I am blessed every time that I can get to be in her presence. She was telling me as we were walking back to the Coliseum Parking Deck that when she woke up, her room was glowing from so much sunshine, she could hear the birds chirping and she knew it was going to be a good day. Consequently, she has been so happy and smiling all day.
As I got into my car, I realized that my story was not the same as hers. I did not wake up with a smile on my face. Although the sun was shining and I could probably hear birds if I had stopped to listen, but I hadn't and I certainly hadn't made an effort to smile.
Okay. I can already tell that this is going to be an entry where I complain alot and then end with "but it's okay because i know that I love Jesus and He loves me and that's all that matters." So brace yourself.
I went to lunch with my sister where she proceeded to tell me that she's dating her ex again. The one that I so affectionately call, "Scum Bag." Feel free to draw your own conclusions about my feelings towards her "new" relationship.
While walking to my next class with my sister, I apparently forgot how to walk up stairs in Rainbows, and face planted on the steps next to Riddick. Ouch. My shins are currently swollen and bruises and I think I might have a stone bruise on my elbow.
I went to my Literacy in the US class and that was fun. No complaints there.
I went to my advisor's office to sign up for advising for this upcoming semester and saw him and the guy he shares his office with, Dr. Miller. Dr. Miller is a Christian who really loves Jesus and consequently really loves his students. He was rather disappointed that I didn't sit and talk a while with him, but it's always nice to know that someone loves you. So thanks Dr. Miller :)
I ran into Kara and she so wonderfully brought sunshine into my life.
I headed from there to attempt to tan. I've never fake-n-baked before, but I'm going to CLEARWATER for Spring Break with Allison Tart and I know that every year I always BURRRRNNN the first time I'm out in the sun. Since this is true, I'm going to fake-n-bake-n-BURN this week so I can enjoy the sunshine next week in Florida :) But, the line was too long and I had to make it to tutoring.
I went to tutoring and the first thirty-ish minutes were great. I taught one of the girls how to do some math stuff with graphs and coordinates and I felt so proud and accomplished. But then she had to leave and there was nothing for me to do. Because of the sunshine, the kids did their homework and then ran home to play. I was hoping to get 2 hours in, but only got 1. Now I have 14 hours of tutoring left to do...and a month to do it in. Oh boy.
I then left and attempted to tan again...but the chart was full and I couldn't do it. Grr. Couldn't just one thing go my way?
Well, I went to the mailbox to see if I had any support letters...and there was one. Don't get me wrong, one is better than zero, but I have $1000 due by Friday and as of now, I only have $410.
Going off of that... I feel so...so...I feel defeated. That's a good word. Although I have $590 left to do by the end of this week, I still have much more after that. It was never my idea to go to Lebanon, it was only God's, but I'm the one that gets yelled at by adults for running off to an unsafe country. I'm the one that has to worry about where this money is going to come from. I'm the one that has to write letters and buy stamps and write thank you cards when for just once...I just want a normal day. I know that God told me to do this, but I just know how it's going to work out. I hate being trapped in a plane for more than 8/9 hours...and the flight is 14 to Lebanon. Not including layovers. I might have to quit my job in order to go to Lebanon. And then I have no idea what I'm going to do for the last few weeks of summer and how I'm going to afford life until August/September. There's just so much to do and I don't know if I want to do it all. Today just wasn't a happy day. But I told myself that I was going to fix the mistake of not journaling enough from Clearwater this go-'round with Lebanon, and one day I hope to look back and say, "Oh Rebekah. God raised more than you needed...far more. Why did you ever worry, silly?" So that's what today is: a silly day to hopefully look back on one day with amusement and confidence in Jesus.
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