freshman year flashback.

This past Friday was NCSU Crusade's Annual Barn Party. As all things in my life and in Crusade, it was super fun, but there was definitely a different vibe because I'm a sen-- well, I don't use that word, but you know what I'm talking about. As I was getting ready for the BP and putting the finishing touches on some pancakes, I couldn't help but think of my first Barn Party three years ago.

This was me back then. This was my first Barn Party. This was me freshman year.

This girl has no idea what was about to hit her.

Would this girl approve of the girl that I see in the mirror today?

Would she be okay with the decisions that I've made for her over the past three years?

I know that she definitely wouldn't be okay by how the numbers on the scale look in comparison to that day. She would probably cry over all of the boy stories that I could tell her. She would really enjoy the idea of packing up and going to Clearwater, but she would yell at me for going to the Middle East. I don't know how she would react to all of the Bible Study girls that she loves, because that was definitely not the life that she wanted back then.

I was on a mission with Sarah Beth after Barn Party to find an open Cook Out whose line was less than twenty minutes long. I was telling her about this idea running around my head about how Senior Year Rebekah measures up to Freshman Year Rebekah's standards. She asked me the question:
"If you could tell her one thing, what would it be?"

My knee jerk reaction was

"GET READY"

because her life was about to go on a roller coaster that I could never explain to her.

I thought about warning her about Post Project Depression and all of the insanity that her sophomore and junior years would soonly brought. But, as I explained to Sarah Beth, so many lessons came from those horrible four months that I really don't think I could sacrifice them.

I've said many times that if I disliked my life I would change it, and since I'm obviously sticking to this path, I am not complaining at all. But it just makes me wonder if I'm making her proud.