Have you ever heard the phrase "hitting the wall"? When you've been working out, you hit that wall and endorphins kick in. When you're at work and you're slaving for the man, you hit that wall and you know that you won't be productive any more that day.
You've been dating someone for a while and you've hit the wall where you need to move forward: you either need to break up or you need to get married.
Maybe that last one is just a girl thing, but regardless, it exists.
There's a wall to hit in online dating as well. You've been sending emails with some guy and he never asks for your number. You know that you really can't learn much more about him over the internet. It's time for more. You need to either hand over your number or ask for hers.
Gentlemen, this is not the girl's job to ask for your number. Be the man and either ask or hand over. It's your job as the man to steer the conversation, to guide the relationship through its proverbial waters.
It's really hard to be the girl in the "hitting the wall" scenario. You're at this impasse of Do I put myself out there and give him the cop out? or Do I stand around and twiddle my thumbs, hoping this guy will step up? Well, first off, ladies, if he's not man enough to ask/give his number, he's not man enough to lead a relationship. Keep that in mind.
Before you make the leap and hand over your number uninvited, remember that confidence can sometimes scare a guy. You might lose him (which is probably a good thing -- just sayin'!).
Men, women are attracted to confidence. I know that I've said this before, but I'm saying it again because it's never going to stop being true. Women are very, very attracted to confidence. Put yourself out there. Do something she's not expecting. If she's reacts immaturely, then she's not ready for a relationship and count this as a good thing in your life.
Even if she isn't interested, hopefully she's mature enough to handle it and you both can laugh about it later.
If she's interested, I cannot begin to describe the number of brownie points that are now in your column. Way to go!
Once you've exchanged numbers, then there's the wall where you need to meet in person. Texting/phone conversation is getting only but so far and there's a critical need for more.
I've hit this wall a handful of times. The need for a number and a need for a face-to-face meet-and-greet.
I'm currently sitting on this impasse. He has my number and we've been texting. To say that we are loooooonng overdue for a date would be an understatement. From the character that has been shown via text message, I don't think that I would date this guy long-term, but I've been given encouragement to wait and see in person. Sometimes guys don't know how to react via text message, but they have a darling little personality in person.
I'm hoping for the chance to give this guy a chance.
I was, however, asked out by a guy who I chatted with the last time I was online. He messaged me earlier this week and abruptly said, "How about that date?" We talked about possible times that we're both available but nothing has been set in stone yet -- guys, it doesn't really count until there's a plan. You always need a plan -- so we'll see if he can complete the task.
The bottom line: Don't be a wuss. If you like her, do something about it. And then continue to do something about it until you don't like her anymore.
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