Wednesday, November 27, 2013

90 Days of Online Dating: The Tale of Two Guys.

I have had the opportunity to be emailing back and forth with two guys for the past two days.

Guy #1 lives in Charlotte, about a three-hour drive from me. I've said this before and I'll say it again: I don't do long-distance relationships. There has to be something there worth fighting for in order to get me to agree to that. I've done it before; we had been dating for about two months when he moved across state lines for a summer internship. I knew he was coming back and social media made communication easier. The whole thing ended soon after he returned, but I am thankful for an experience that taught me so much.

This guy, however, doesn't stand a chance at getting me to agree to something long-distance.

His profile says that our religious views are completely different, he thinks it would be a great social experiment for a Democrat to date a Republican, he lives three hours away, and he's already mentioned "hooking up." But I have to give him this: he's a persistent little booger.

Every time I say "no, thanks, but thanks anyway," he returns the email with another reason why he thinks we would be good together.

"We both want to get married one day!" "Think of all of the philosophical discussions we could have with our opposing viewpoints!" "I've always wanted to date a teacher -- I had a thing or two for most of my teachers in high school."

That last one is the edited version of what he sent, but it still get the creepy effect across.

I usually look forward to my phone beeping with an alert from my dating website app, but not recently. Bless his heart.

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Guy #2 actually had some potential...until he opened his mouth.

His pictures have him surrounded by friends on different adventures without a beer can in sight. I don't mind drinking responsibly, but I think there is a typically-true stereotype that goes along with guys who post pictures of themselves getting schwasted.

His profile says he loves Jesus, is a civil engineer, has traveled to a few countries besides his own, and loves the Wolfpack.

Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!

Or not.

He sent me a message asking what I was doing for this Thanksgiving holiday. We shared a few emails back and forth about our respective Thanksgiving plans and then he asked me what brought me to the dating site.

My go-to answer is that I work too much and my hours are different from the rest of the grown-up world's, so this is just easier and more efficient for a finding a guy.

"Yeah, I'm kind of a workaholic. I love my job, so it's hard to say no when they want to give me overtime. But this cuts out the bar scene. This also means that I don't have time for a relationship so just dating and maybe a little fun."

(Grammar and spelling edited for your pleasure and comfort.)

I'm all about dating: free meal, interesting conversation, expanding the pool of people I know. But "a little fun" in this context is not up my alley.

Again, bless his heart. He was so close.

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