About Me:
1. Always, always, always be honest. There is no need to overshare, but don't lie about your age, your current employment, your height, your weight, or your hobbies. Just because you read two books in high school does not mean that you love reading. Roadtripping to the beach every Fourth of July doesn't make you an avid traveler. Renting the same beach house every year doesn't mean that you "have" a beach house. It's a sentimental ownership and it doesn't count. Sorry.
2. Speak positively about your life. Even if you currently hate your job and are looking to transition, that's something you can hit her with on the third date. Keep things upbeat and cheery. You're more likely to meet an upbeat and cheery girl.
3. If you can't play more than two songs on a guitar, you can't play the instrument. Don't try to impress her.
Your Pictures:
1. Going along with the above number three, if you can't play the guitar, take down the picture of you holding your frat brother's guitar at the New Year's Eve party last year. It'll give girls the wrong impression and you'll just break her heart.
2. Only post a picture of your dog if you're in the picture.
3. Always post a picture of your dog if you have one -- girls are attracted to cute, cuddly things.
4. When selecting pictures, put your main profile picture as one of just you. Let the girl be able to see your face. The second picture can be of you from a bit of a distance to show off your physique. Then you can post the puppy pictures and the Boys Weekend at the Beach pictures (but nothing too embarrassing!).
5. Girls are wired with some kind of predisposition to guys who have some height on them. Even if you're 6'2", don't post the picture of you standing next to your freakishly-tall 6'8" friend. Girls automatically assume that Guy #2 is of normal height and that you've fibbed a bit about your height on your profile.
6. When picking out your profile pictures, talk to a trusted female friend and have her pick out her three favorite Facebook pictures of you. The pictures you post say a lot about you, have a girl help you get a girl. We all kind of think alike.
7. Don't post selfies, mirror pics, or pictures with your shirt off. Have some class. Don't be twelve.
8. Actually, here's a great rule: if you can Google a picture with Miley Cyrus or Lady Gaga doing the same pose or wearing the same thing, don't post that picture. Unless you're doing it ironically, and make sure that people know you're doing it ironically.
9. 90% of your pictures should be from the past ten months.
What You're Looking For:
1. I would suggest that even if it's an option (because it is), don't list the size of the female that you're looking for. Just because a girl is "slender" doesn't mean that she feels that way about herself. Because of one word on your profile, she's now insecure about herself and about how you would feel about her and she's not going to message you. We're weird. We know. Just leave it as "no preference."
2. I'm going to give you a piece of advice that my AP Psychology teacher once gave to my class my senior year: The mediocre-looking girls have the best personalities. The ones that peaked in high school never had to learn how to do anything because they had boobs already. The other girls have learned to be funny and keep you entertained. Just because a girl's waist size isn't what you thought you wanted, don't exclude her. Just sayin. If she's a 6 on the Hotness Scale, give her an email anyways. You just never know.
3. Say something about what you're looking for in her personality.
Here's what mine says: "My ideal man is taller than me, can make me laugh, listens, smiles at me from across the room when he walks in, likes my cooking, is incredibly sarcastic, likes to hold my hand, makes the plans, knows the difference between "your" and "you're", can hold a conversation, and doesn't mind me talking about my very large, incredibly amazing family."
Getting Her to Message You:
Ask some questions on your profile. Give her a starting point. There is nothing more annoying than receiving an email that just says "hey." Without the period, of course. Actually, I think "hey your gorgeous" is worse.
Give the girl a prompt or two so she can have a starting point that will be the cornerstone of the story you two get to tell as you're living happily ever after.
Good luck, men!
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