I spent the weeksbefore Christmas looking forward to lots of laughs with my family, some incredible eating provided by my grandmothers and my mom, and Cousin Time with the extensions of my soul. All of the cousins couldn't be together on my dad's side of the family because my aunt and uncle and their two offspring are currently stationed in South Korea, but all of the Originals were going to be in attendance (a few were bringing their significant others) and I just knew it was going to be a Christmas to remember.
And it was...but not because of the food or the Cousin Time...
But because of the fever, body aches, and sickness that has plagued my body for the past few days. No Cousin Time, no food, no laughter. Insert depressing sigh here...
I'm finally at the point that I can stand for more than ten minutes and personal hygiene is back on the list of priorities. I'm taking these all as good signs, though my diet is still basically water and Campbell's Chicken 'n' Rice Soup. You win some, you lose some, I guess.
But my current required love of Chicken 'n' Rice Soup is not why you're here.
I still haven't gone on any dates and I'm not really emailing with anyone promising. It's just an app on my phone for the moment.
I have, however, been doing some introspection.
This guy emailed me. I don't know his name so I'm going to call him Bob. According to Bob's profile, he's nothing like I'm looking for. I've learned that if guys lie about themselves online, they usually lie in their favor, so I'm thinking that everything that Bob is saying is legit. Meaning, he makes less than I do, he has a kid, he still lives with his parents, he graduated high school but hasn't attended any higher-level education. Oh, and did I mention he's 31?
Some of the things that I listed are not the end of the world. I'm willing to have a conversation if you have a kid. If you haven't gone onto higher-level education but you've done something meaningful with your life, great! You make less than I do...well, I'm a teacher. Are you a teacher, too? Because if you're a teacher, I can't date you for about a million different reasons. You still live with your parents? Um. Umm...we're gonna...well, um, we're gonna need to have another conversation. Especially if you're 31.
I come from the school of belief that whomever you date should make you better. They should build you up and encourage you and point you on to greener pastures. They should have an understanding of your life and be able to your helpmate and your partner.
So, there's me.
I have my own house. I own my own car. I have a four-year college degree and am beginning to work on my Master's. I have a career and all of the baggage that comes with it. I have a supportive family and an incredible group of friends who have walked me through several stages of life and loved me in so many ways. Whoever walks into my life and expects to take on the challenge of dating me has big shoes to fill.
These shoes are not just the ones that my Daddy has walked in my whole life, but even more than that, the shoes that I've built myself. If you're going to come to table, you better bring something to share. Not to brag, but I'm a pretty good cook (realistically and metaphoricallly, in this sense) and you've gotta measure up. And these kinds of goods can't come from Harris Teeter (though there isn't a a girl alive who will say no to their Creme Cheese Frosted Brownies, amen!).
Before you enter into a relationship, you have to know what you're worth. You have to know what you're bringing to the table and what can be expected for the other person to bring to the table. At some point it needs to be an equal playing field.
Here's my life problem: I've gotta wait. Waiting for the guy who has it all isn't optional for me. I've figured out what I'm worth and that bill adds up. Second best isn't just first loser in this sense; it's completely a loss.
Bob, you have a great day. I hope with everything to that you find an amazing woman to walk along in life with you and to love your daughter. Unfortunately, I'm not that girl.
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