A Prayer.

Dear Lord,

Thank You, thank You, thank You from the bottom of my heart for each and every one of my girls, my grandgirls, great-grandgirls, great-great-grandgirls and for all of the generations that I may not have the blessing to know.

Lord, thank You for their smiles. For the way that they light up a room.
Lord, thank You for their laughter. I love that it is one simple way that You show me just how different they are.
Lord, thank You for the way that they pray like You're right there beside them.
Lord, thank You for being right there beside them.
Lord, thank You for making them stronger than you made me, and thank You for strengthening me through their love and kindness and through each one of those smiles that I get to witness.

Lord, out of all of the beautiful girls that You formed perfectly and placed on this earth, how did You know that these one-hundred-and-thirty-some were the exact ones that I wanted and needed in my life? I'll never understand it.

Sweet Father, I ask that You break them, like You broke me. Father, break their sweet hearts for the things that are not pleasing to You. But Lord, do not stop there!!! Rebuild these hearts, Lord! Rebuild them perfectly to plead for the things that You love. Rebuild them for Your Kingdom. Strengthen them Lord so that You can use them in mighty ways.

Lord I ask that You are a lamp to their feet, just bright enough to know that You are right there Lord, and You're not going anywhere.

Daddy, I pray that You refine them through the fire. We both know how hard that is and how much work it takes. We know how much it hurts. Lord, I know that You put obstacles along the way: temptations, pain, sharks, mountains, jagged rocks, broken glass, lions and tigers and bears, OH MY! But God, I also know that YOU are at the finish line!!! I know this Lord! I know that when we come out of each trial and temptation, that You are there to pick us up. I know that when we finish, screaming in pain, crawling towards you, saying:

"Daddy! Daddy! It hurts so bad! Everything hurts, Daddy!"

I know that You pick us up and carry us! I know that You kiss away every tear, You clean every scrape and cut. You wash away every drop of our own blood. I know this, Father! I know it!

You look at us and say, "Beloved. My sweet girl. My darling. Daddy's here. Daddy never left."

"But Lord, I didn't see You!"

"I was right here, baby. And I have never stopped loving you. I'm going to fix this."

Lord, refine them. Make them Yours and Yours alone. Don't allow the distractions of tin foil take their eyes off of the mountains of silver and gold you offer us freely. Wrap Your great, vast, loving arms around them. Father, please, please, please don't let go!!!

Father, use their smiles and their laughter. Use their sass and their stubbornness. Use their gentleness and their determination. Use their desires and mold them new ones! Teach them how to hang on to each other and to You. Show them how to walk blindly, because it is only then that they can truly learn how wonderful, how beautiful, how amazing, how awesome, how incredible, how unspeakably good You are. Use their many talents, and ask them to use some of their weaknesses too! Show them that You are mighty, and that You are powerful, and that, more than anything, that YOU LOVE THEM!!! Lord, take them out of their comfort zone and then hold onto them so tightly that they know they are not alone, but that You are there, and that they are only standing there because You have them wrapped in Your strong arms.

Sweet Savior. Beautiful Father. Precious Redeemer. Almighty God.

I did nothing. I did nothing for three years. We both know this. I did nothing, and You still blessed me with these smiles, with these cheeks to kiss, with these girls to hug, these hearts to love. I will never, ever understand it.

But Lord, if You give me nothing else for the rest of my years, I will completely be content.

You gave me You, Lord. And because You're more generous than I can fathom...You gave me them.

Thank You.

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To my girls:

I write this with tears streaming down my face thinking of your beautiful faces and all of the blessings that I have received through each and every one of you. These tears come from knowing our Savior and from knowing you. I pray this prayer and many others for you daily. I have each of your names written in various places where I can see them and pray for you, by name, daily.

Know you are loved more greatly than you will ever comprehend.

I am blessed to know you, humbled to serve you, and overjoyed to love you.

Andi & Jacob

This past Friday I headed to the foothills of North Carolina's Appalachian mountains to marry off one of my Bible Study girls, Andi, to the love of her life, Jacob.

Whenever I start snapping pictures at some sort of event, be it a birthday, Christmas, or a Friday, I wait for the moment that I get "the money shot". Here is the money shot of the rehearsal.

I just feel like you can see the love pouring out of this picture.

After the dinner we headed out for drinks and then headed to bed so we could get ready for my sweet girl's Big Day!!!

When my Andi walked out of the dressing room with her gown on, I burst into tears. She was just so beautiful. I had never seen even a picture of her dress, so to see the entire ensemble at once was just overwhelming. Andi has a very unique look about her, and the dress fit her perfectly.

The ceremony took place in the backyard of a sweet cottage in the country. As wonderful as it was, it was also 104 degrees outsides. Yes, in Fahrenheit. No, I'm not kidding.

To combat the heat, Andi and Jacob had small fans handed out to their guests.

My silly girls enjoyed some fun with the fans.

Andi's "Something Old" were the gloves that her mom wore on her wedding day to her dad many years ago. How sweet to have something to lovely and with such meaning!

And just like that, they sealed the deal with a kiss!

Then, it was time to party!

This is my Rachel. She was one of the bridesmaids...isn't she just the sassiest and cutest thing you have ever seen?

A small note about the wedding: It was supposed to be a dry wedding. However, the bridesmaids decided against that. Classy.

All of my girls and me with the bride!

I do love surprises! This is Rojo. His real name is Ben. No, Franklin. No...George. Whatever, we call him Rojo. My Kelsey and I met him in our Spanish 202 class a few semesters ago. As we were being seated we heard something behind us and we turned to find Rojo! This guy is a hoot-and-a-half and he was nearly the life of the party (don't worry, I still carry the title). Such a good moment for old friends to reunite!

Lack of Productivity.

This picture is currently my Facebook profile picture, my computer background, and my cell phone wall paper.

I can't get anything done because whenever I try to...this picture makes me stop and stare, smile and giggle.

I ran into my Rachel on campus yesterday and was telling her about how I couldn't get anything done. She started laughing and informed me that it would be really sad for me to have to ask for an extension on an assignment because "you couldn't stop telling a picture that you love it."

It's kind of pathetic.

"I run in the way of your commandments, and so you shall enlarge my heart." Psalm 119:32

I have run the race and the Lord has certainly blown up my heart with joy, blessings, and excitement!

No matter that I have two papers and a test due tomorrow.

Coooooooooook OUT!

My beautiful parents offered about six weeks ago to throw a cook out for my friends here in Raleigh. How does a girl say no to free food and fellowship with some of her favorites?

This dinner was supposed to be mainly for my Bible Study girls so that my parents could meet these gorgeous girls who I have spent the last three years of my life loving. I then pleaded and begged to add to that list. In my dad's words, I was to invite "[my] girls and then the first 25 people you think of in Raleigh." So I did just that. Last night from 5:30pm to about 9:30 pm in Wendell, 48 of my closest friends and Bible Study girls pulled onto Lake Drive and ate and laughed and fellowshipped.

I took the opportunity to snap a generation photo with my girls and grandgirls that were present.

 Six of these girls are mine. Two are my Hannah's. The rest are my Lauren and my Kelsey's.

We're missing about thirty girls from this picture.

My sweet little goofballs.

I am blessed to know you.

I am overjoyed to love you.

I am humbled to serve you.

To everyone else that came out last night, I have no words for how much you mean to my life. I am so incredibly blessed to call you friend.

My Life, in Cute, Short, Dialogue Stories.

Over the past week, I have slept very little, done homework a lot, cooked a bit less than that, and laughed really hard...and loved (almost) every minute of it.

My life has a lot of people in it. I like it that way. I hope it never changes.

I thought I would share some cute dialogues that I have have with these people over the past few days.

Story #1:

Me: "I don't believe people when they tell me I'm 'beautiful'. I feel like "beautiful" is such an overused word. I just, don't believe it..."

Bible Study Girl: "Is it the same as you not believing my request for some ice cream?"

*proceeds to spread her hand across my kitchen table, where in fact, I have not placed a bowl of ice cream.*

Story #2:

Scenario: I'm sitting on my couch, quite tired. One of my girls comes in and jumps on me...

Bible Study Girl: "You know I love you right?"

Me: "What did you break?"

Bible Study Girl: "That's not fair!"

Me: "I beg your pardon." *pause* "What mess do I need to clean up?"

Bible Study Girl: "Is that seriously what you think of me?"

Me: "You know not! Are you hungry?"

Bible Study Girl: "BINGO! Will you make me a quesadilla?"

And they tell me I don't know them...

Story #3:

Scenario: Sitting around with my girls after dinner, but still before Bible Study.

Bible Study Girl: "That was probably one of the best meals I've ever had."

Me: "I'm glad you liked it. It was really easy to make."

Bible Study Girl: "Could I get the recipe?"

Me: "Sure. First you take two cans of marinara sauce..."
Bible Study Girl: "Oh. My bad. When I said, 'Could I get the recipe?' I really meant, 'Could you make a big pot of this and just bring it to my house?'"

Why do I get the feeling that I'm just a walking robot wearing an apron with a spatula in hand?

Day of Love.

Happy Day of Love!

I have no romantic story to tell, except for the story that I am blessed enough to write every single day with The Love of My Life, my beautiful Savior.

I thought today could be shown through pictures.

Every picture here is a different representation of love and blessings in my life.

Each one of these photos makes my heart skip a beat for a unique reason.

Even if it's just a picture of me and one other person, it represents something far and beyond it.

So there it is. My life in pictures.

It's also not too late to submit your name in any of the SEVEN different ways for the Valentine's Giveaway!

Broomball, Baby!!!

Last night was Crusade's Junior/Senior Broomball.

To say I was excited would be an understatement.

The name "broomball" is a bit misleading. There are no brooms involved, but there are a whole bunch of balls.

You start off by inviting all of the juniors and seniors in the Crusade movement to come out to the Cary Ice House, telling them to wear warm clothing and tennis shoes.

You then give them different color jerseys, which just goes to show you how competitive we are. As if the jerseys weren't enough, you throw a few soccer balls onto the ice and say, "GO!"



No one really keeps score, even though I know that the yellow team won :)

Other activites, such as dodgeball (or, as the guys thought it was was called, "bullet-ball"...ouch), and freeze tag, also happen.

The night is so fun. One of the reasons is that it's just the juniors and seniors. As great as the freshman and sophomores are, it's so wonderful to know everyone there and to be with the people that you've "grown up" with in college.

Of course, no night is complete without a few pictures.

My sweet Rita and B. Knox goofing off on the ice rink.

There is also a DJ who plays popular, secular, very non-Crusade music. But that doesn't mean Hannah, Katie and myself don't know how to have a good time.

All photo cred goes to this pretty girl, Miss Ella. Thanks for capturing the memories last night!

Well folks, I'm off to Target to pick up a few last minute things for tomorrow's giveaway! I'm so excited about it!

baby steps.

I am determined to run a 5k before I turn 22.


Why? To prove to myself that I can.


In order to do this, you have to train. I'm not good at training. I have very little motivation for anything besides reading or watching TV. Anything that will keep my tail on the couch, I'm totally game for.


With this being said, it goes without saying that I can do little without accountability and someone to make my butt get off the couch. So I told one of my girls about my plan. Drea squealed. She does 5ks like they're candy.


February 27th, Special Olympics 5k. Raleigh, NC...here I come!


I did the equivalent of a 5k in about 54 minutes yesterday. For the last 30, I was literally pulling Milley by her leash--she's not as good as once was. Today she only let me do a bit over a mile before she sat down on the side walk and would not go any farther.


Baby Steps. We'll get there. Well, we'd better...February 27th is right around the corner!

Listening to my Haley.

These are some of my grandgirls.

These are my Kelsey and my Lauren's girls.

Morgan, Haley, Natalie, Emma, Bailey, and Kelsey.

This made me smile.

I wanted to share that smile with you.

For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all God's people, I have no stopped griving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know HIm better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy place, and his incomparably great ower for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.

Ephesians 1:15-21

I love these girls a lot. A whole, whole, whole lot.

I had lunch with my Haley yesterday and I expressed some frustration with her about not being about to cast vision with my ministry any more since I have only have 112 days until I graduate.

Haley, in true gentleness and love, then rebuked me.

"You might not be here, but your girls will be. Their girls will be. And then their girls will be. Cast vision for them. Tell them of your college experience and how much you pray that theirs will be as fruitful and as much of a growing process."

Yes, ma'am.

So, my beautiful girls.

In short...

Pray without ceasing.

Expect God to show up all the time.

Challenge Him to do big things.

Step out on faith.

Get uncomfortable.

Learn the Bible like your best friend's Facebook page.

Listen to that still, small voice.

Love with everything you have.

And then love some more.

Never, ever settle in any aspect of your life.

THAT BOY IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME.

Surround yourself with people that will support you and pray for you.

If you can count the number of people you have hugged in a day, the number of times you have said "I love you" or the number of times you smiled...you didn't do it enough.

Remember always that you're a daughter of the King.

Remember always that you're more beautiful that I can put into words.

Remember always that you are nothing and He is everything.

Remember always that if you do nothing else but love for the next four years, you will have done more than you will remember.

I love you.

I Melt.

I thought my heart was going to explode on Monday. I was honestly wondering if I could die of happiness when one of my girls asked if I wanted to go to the Bible Study she leads and hang out with her girlies.

I was something I wanted to do so badly and the entire night I could not shake this all-encompassing joy.

My Hannah, My Kelsey, My Rachel, me and My Lauren tailgating before a football game, 2010. We were all laughing when we took this picture. I want it to stay like this forever.

I could not be more proud of my girls. Each of them. Well, I keep saying that, and then they go and do something amazing and my level of pride shoots up about another one hundred and fifty feet.

My beautiful Lauren. There aren't words.

This week, however, has warmed my soul beyond measure.

My Kelsey, My Hannah, me, My Lauren, and My Rachel before Crusade Semi-Formal, 2009.

I watched my Kelsey challenge her girls to love each other through good times and bad.

My sweet Livia. I miss her every day.

I saw my Lauren hug each of her girls with a love that is so beautiful it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

When my girls love each other, my soul does somersaults. My Lauren and My Emma at the Free Expression Tunnel, Fall 2008.

We miss you daily, Emma.

Then there's my Kaitlyn. She's just going to smile at the world for the rest of her life. And the world will be a better place because of it.

My Kelsey and My Hannah at Shak-a-Thon, Fall 2008.

This is the first night they convinced me to sleep outside. I'm pretty sure the word's "If you love us, you'll do it" were tossed around.

Then there's my Hannah who is exactly who I want to be when I grow up.

And my Drea. The most driven and determined person I know. The phrase "heart of gold" was coined because she came into this world.

My Ashley. She taught me the importance of quality time. She taught me the importance of loving with your whole heart. She embodies sunshine.

I miss you every day my sweet girl.

Same with my Sami, who has this quiet peace and confidence about her that I wish I could bottle up and give out to the world. The Middle East would be better off with it.

My beautiful Sami. I'm pretty sure her smile can cure cancer.

I could go on and on and on. And on and on and on some more.

Christmas Party 2009.

But last night, I was sitting at Crusade with my Lauren down the row and sitting beside my Kelsey surrounded by their girls and I just wanted to freeze time.

One of my grandgirls came up to me and said, "Grandma! I got to share Jesus with someone today!"

I was speechless.

My sweet girls are growing up. They are working with their own girls to make the world a better place. They love harder than I ever could and it amazes me.

As I was sitting there with my Kelsey, she leaned over and rested her head on my shoulder. I sat there praying, "Lord, please let time stand still right now. Please."

I was melting. I only have about 100 days left on this campus and within arms' reach of the majority of my girls. As if my Kelsey curling up with me and one of my grandbabies loving Jesus publicly wasn't enough, my girls then laughed. I heard them. This chorus of angel voices rising in giggles and joy and laughter and I could be content forever in that moment.

I don't know if I could ever have kids of my own because I'm pretty sure I would die at the sheer joy of looking at the child, if these girls are any yardstick.

I melt every time they laugh.

I melt every time I hear one of them pray.

I melt every time I get an "I love you" text from them.

Every time I get to hug them.

Every time I watch them love others.

Every time they gush about an answered prayer.

Every time they talk about their own girls or their own special way that they're saving the world.

Every time they dream big and expect God to show up.

Every time I wrap my arms around them reminds me that I have a purpose. I have a Creator who makes all things good. I am reminded that there is another life after this one where He will wipe away every tear from our eyes and my girls will be whole, without doubts, fears, and the imperfections they see in the mirror (which, I swear, are not there). Each time that I am in their presence, it gives me strength and I am reminded what true love looks like.