The school system where I substitute had a vacation day yesterday so I got to sleep in! This time change has not been my friend and consequently, "sleeping in" only meant until 7:45, not the hoped-for 9:00. Alas, I spent the next few hours in bed watching Dawson's Creek on Netflix and enjoying a lazy morning. I finally decided to roll out of bed about 10:30 to dress for the day so that I could do my civic duty and vote!
My Facebook newsfeed was blowing up with reports of "hours long" lines to the polls and a whole lot of other drama. However, I pulled into my precinct and there was ZERO wait. I figured since I got there around lunch time that there would be a minor line. Thankfully, this was not the case. I cast my vote for Romney/Ryan, got me a sticker, and headed on my way.
It hit me that people don't take "lunch breaks" in my sleepy little town so the idea that a lot of people would be in line was actually preposterous. As I was heading into Raleigh to pick up my kiddos for my nanny gig, my phone rang. The dad called to tell me that he was enjoying his day with the little girl, and I could just come in at my normal time. I suddenly had two-and-a-half hours to kill and no idea how to fill them.
I called about fifteen friends of mine as I continued to head into Raleigh, hoping to find someone for a last-minute coffee or cupcake date. Around the thirteenth phone call, the fact of how grown up my friends and I are hit me. No one could meet because we're not in college anymore...they have grown-up jobs that don't allow them to slip out of the office for an hour. When did we grow up this much? I was a little depressed over this realization.
I decided to head to Hillsborough Street, adjacent to my beloved NC State and pick up a cup of my favorite coffee from my favorite little coffee shop, Global Village. One medium Med Irish for me, please!
I had my school bag with me so I knew that I could entertain myself -- I had the current writing project I'm working on and the book I'm currently reading.
I headed to the Court of Carolinas (a courtyard on NCSU's East Campus) and sat on an old favorite bench and did a sudoku from the school's newspaper, The Technician. I felt like a college student again. I was killing time in my favorite area of campus, right beside the building where 75% of my classes were held.
The beauty of the campus amazes me.
NCSU catches a lot of slack because of how many bricks are used around the campus. Some people claim there isn't enough nature. Clearly these people have not seen NCSU in the fall. Or been to the Court of Carolinas.
The bench where I sat faced the Caldwell building. I took those steps every single day of my college career. If you were to look in those windows, you would see a comfortable lounge complete with couches and chairs and desks where I spent many a lunch hour and many a stressful cram session between classes.
I walked up and down this hill every day. I cursed it during rain and snow because I knew that I was going to meet my death by slipping and falling. Thankfully, it never actually happened.
I was, however, once nicked by a bicycler. My elbow still creaks when it rains. I'm getting so old.
I loved the time that I spent on campus. The four years as an undergrad, and the time yesterday. I walked around nostalgically. I saw the building that held my classes: Tompkins, Caldwell, and Poe. I dodged two professors whom I still cannot stand to this day. I went up into the upper floors of Tompkins to find some of my favorite professors to say a quick hello.
I loved the hushed, intense vibes that come from the upper floors of Tompkins. All of those academic minds grading papers, counseling students, editing one another editorials. The energy is almost palpable, just like it always has been.
While I was sitting, basking in the beauty of NCSU, the bell tower chimed it's 2:00 alert. I realized that very little had changed since I graduated. The steps outside of Caldwell Lounge used to have little potholes from overuse, but those had been filled in. The traffic circle in front of the bell tower has been re-routed (again). Other than that, things were the same.
The inner pathways of Winston, Caldwell, and Tompkins were still confusing as ever.
The bell tower still chimed on the hour and half hour.
The 1911 building sat stoically at the top of the Court of Carolinas, overlooking the other buildings and the students in the courtyard like a regal king, watching and protecting its subjects.
When the wind blew just right, you could smell the bagels baking at Bruegger's across the street.
Finding parking on Hillsborough was still a pain and the fee was overpriced once you did find it.
As students passed me, some gave me a curious look. I was an outsider. You grow used to seeing the same students on your way to and from classes. They had never seen me before. I was an imposter, a wanna-be.
"It's true what they say: Time plays tricks on you. One day, you're dreaming, and the next the dream has become your reality. Now that the scared little girl no longer follows me wherever I go, I miss her. There are things I want to tell her: to relax, that it is all going to be okay. I want her to know that meeting people who like you, who understand you, who accept you for exactly who you are is a gift. A gift that becomes more and more rare as you grow up."
In one of the episodes of Dawson's Creek, Joey Potter said that quote. I whole-heartedly agree. I was an over-confident, secretly terrified freshman only five years ago. There are so many things that I wish to tell her. NCSU hasn't changed that much, but I have. I have these bricks, these building, these professors to thank for that. I am a better person because I sat on this bench every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for two years.
I love coming back to this campus. It makes me feel whole.
Ghosts come back to greet me, some good, some not so good.
Every single room has a memory, a piece of happiness, somewhere that I learned and grew.
I am thankful for these bricks and the catalyst that they were in the growing up process.
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